Talked on the phone with my Mom tonight. She is 80-something and pretty much blind. She has been complaining that she is shrinking and nothing in her multiple closets of clothes fits her. My sister took her shopping yesterday — an experience that can best be compared to leading an ill-tempered Mr. Magoo through a China shop (with the pieces of China being played by small children and elderly people). Mom told me that she couldn’t find a thing to buy. Nothing fit her because of her ever-receding stature.
In a vain and stupid attempt to make her feel better, I said, “Huh. But your posture is still excellent.”
Mom: “What?”
Me, a bit louder: “Your posture is still excellent.”
Mom: “What?”
Louder still : “But your posture is fine.” (My wife, who is in the next room, starts laughing.)
Mom: “What?”
Me: Your posture’s fine, but your hearing isn’t so hot.”
Mom: ”You were just speaking too softly.”